I have been asked to write a formal complaint. I am not entirely sure what a formal complaint is, but I think it is like a thank-you note that is also a little bit sad. So here is my thank-you note that is also a little bit sad.
To whom it may concern, which I believe is everyone who has ever looked at me and said, “You know what, I’m just going to quit. Like the Fool.”
I have a problem. People keep using me as an excuse to stop doing things. They pull me out of a deck—a deck! I live in a deck, which is like a house but made of paper—and they say, “Ah, the Fool. This means I should leave my job. This means I should end my relationship. This means I should walk off the edge of a cliff because I am trusting the universe.”
And I have to say: I do not know what the universe is. I thought it was just the big blue thing above my head that sometimes gets wet. I have never met the universe. I have met a dog once, and it licked my face, and I said, “Hello, friend,” and then it ran away. That was the most profound thing that has ever happened to me. I do not think I should be giving life advice to anyone.
But here is the part that confuses me the most. People say I am “not afraid.” They say I am “courageous.” They say I am “about to take a leap of faith.”
I am not taking a leap. I am walking. I am walking because I am not paying attention. I am looking at a butterfly. I am thinking about bread. I am wondering if the sky tastes like anything. I am not brave. I am distracted. There is a huge difference. A brave person knows there is a cliff and decides to jump anyway. I do not know there is a cliff. I do not even know what a cliff is. I think it might be a kind of cheese.
So when you pull my card and say, “I am going to quit my job because the Fool tells me to trust the unknown,” you are not trusting the unknown. You are trusting me, and I am extremely untrustworthy. I once tried to pay for a sandwich with a leaf. The sandwich person was not impressed. I said, “But it is a very nice leaf,” and they said, “Get out.” So I got out. And I ate the leaf. It was not a sandwich. I do not regret it, but I also do not recommend it.
Now, I have heard that some people use me as a way to “start fresh.” They say, “The Fool represents new beginnings.” That is true. But a new beginning is something you choose with awareness, not something you fall into because you were staring at a cloud. I am not a permission slip to abandon your responsibilities. I do not even have any responsibilities. I do not even have a coat. I have a tiny bag and a flower. That is my entire life plan.
So here is my formal complaint: Please stop saying I am fearless. I am not fearless. I do not know what fear is. I have never been introduced to it. If fear walked up to me and said, “Hello, I am fear,” I would probably say, “Oh, lovely, would you like to see my flower?” And then fear would probably say, “You are impossible,” and I would say, “Thank you, I try.” That is not bravery. That is just being very, very bad at understanding the situation.
And please stop saying I am about to take a leap. I am about to take a nap. I am about to see a cloud that looks like a duck. I am about to trip over a root and land in a puddle, and I will laugh because I do not know I am supposed to be embarrassed. That is not a spiritual journey. That is just a Tuesday.
I am not a symbol of courage. I am a symbol of not knowing what is going on. And that is fine. It is fine to not know. It is fine to wander. It is fine to eat a leaf and then realize you should have gotten a sandwich. But it is not fine to use me as an excuse to quit your job, leave your partner, or move to a new city without a plan, because I do not have a plan, and I am happy, but I am also very cold and I lost my shoe.
So if you pull my card and think, “This means I should do something reckless,” I ask you to reconsider. Look at my flower. I do not know where I got it. I do not know what kind it is. I do not know if it is real. But I am holding it, and that is enough. That is the only thing I am telling you: Hold your flower. Do not jump off a cliff. The cliff is not cheese.
Yours in profound confusion,
The Fool