CASE FILE NO.: 2025-03-17-TR-001
SUBJECT: Acquisition and Subsequent Psychological Deterioration of Tarot Deck, Designation “The Cartographer’s Silence”
PRIMARY INVESTIGATOR: The Archivist, Division of Para-Cartographic Artifacts
TO: The Director, Bureau of Unlicensed Occult Commodities; The Committee on Unauthorized Emotional Attachment; The Subject’s Next of Kin (Registered, Pending Verification)
FROM: The Archivist, Central Records
DATE: [REDACTED]
PRIOR FILINGS: Refer to Case File No. 2023-11-22-EX-009, “On the Inadvisability of Purchasing Divinatory Tools from Persons Named ‘Crow'”; also refer to Internal Memo 2024-01-05-MO-002, “Regarding the Prohibition Against Making Emotional Investments in Otherwise Inert Objects.”
I. INITIAL REPORT: ACQUISITION
On or about March 10, 2025, Subject [NAME REDACTED] (hereafter “The Subject”) submitted a transaction of seventy-eight dollars and forty-nine cents (USD $78.49) to an online retailer operating under the name “Crow’s Last Road.” In exchange, the Subject received a cardboard box containing a single tarot deck. The deck was described in the product listing as “The Cartographer’s Silence: A Map to Nowhere In Particular.” The packaging was unremarkable. It is noted that the Subject had no prior history of cartographic interest or divination.
II. DESCRIPTION OF THE ARTIFACT
The deck consists of seventy-eight cards. The Major Arcana are not illustrated with traditional figures (The Fool, The Magician, etc.). Instead, each card presents a blank, white field. At the bottom of each card, in a small, sans-serif font, is a set of coordinates. A sample of these coordinates was run through standard geolocation databases. Results were as follows:
- Card 0 (The Fool): Coordinates point to the center of a dry lake bed in Nevada. No structures, no water, no path.
- Card I (The Magician): Coordinates point to a telephone pole in rural Ohio. A single crow was observed on the wires during a satellite image capture in 2018.
- Card X (Wheel of Fortune): Coordinates point to the bottom of a municipal swimming pool in Akron, currently drained for repairs.
- Card XX (Judgement): Coordinates point to the back of a defunct laundromat in Portland. The dumpster is full.
The Minor Arcana (Wands, Cups, Swords, Pentacles) follow the same format. No card contains a path, a destination, a suggestion, or a meaning. The deck is, by definition, a map to nothing.
III. OBSERVATIONS OF THE SUBJECT
Following acquisition, The Subject was observed engaging in a behavioral pattern consistent with the clinical definition of “hollow searching.”
At 22:14 hours on March 11, 2025, The Subject performed the first documented reading. The Subject shuffled the deck, cut it three times, and drew three cards. The cards were placed face-up on a kitchen table. The Subject stared at the blank white surfaces for a period of forty-seven minutes. No verbal response was recorded. The Subject then placed the cards back in the box and sat on the floor.
On March 14, 2025, The Subject attempted to visit coordinates from Card VII (The Chariot). The location was a bus shelter with a missing bench. The Subject stood at the location for thirty-two minutes. No bus arrived. The route had been discontinued in 2019.
On March 16, 2025, The Subject cancelled all subscriptions, terminated a lease agreement, and sent an email to a contact identified as “M.” The email read, in its entirety: “I found it. But it’s not there yet.”
IV. ANALYSIS: THE RIGHT TO A NORMAL LIFE
A formal inquiry has been opened regarding the Subject’s eligibility for a normal life. This office has determined that The Subject had no right to such an existence. The evidence is as follows:
- The Subject purchased a tarot deck from a person named “Crow.” This is a known red flag.
- The Subject expected a map to provide direction, rather than confirming that all paths are equally meaningless.
- The Subject was not authorized to experience hope, curiosity, or a sense of purpose.
It is the opinion of this office that The Subject voluntarily relinquished the right to a normal life at the moment of purchase. The Bureau does not grant exceptions for emotional vulnerability. The Subject is now classified as “Occupant of a Non-Place.”
V. FURTHER NOTES
The deck is not a tool for divination. It is a tool for subtraction. Each card removes one more possibility, one more destination, one more lie. The Subject is expected to continue visiting these empty sites until the distinction between “here” and “nowhere” becomes academic.
The deck is currently in the Subject’s possession. The Bureau has no jurisdiction to confiscate it, as it does not violate any known statute against fraudulent cartography. It is, technically, a map. It simply maps the void.
VI. CONCLUSION
The Subject is no longer looking for a way home. The Subject is now looking for the proof that home was ever a real concept.
The Subject was never lost. The Subject has simply begun to enjoy the view from the bottom of a drained swimming pool in Akron, waiting for a bus that stopped running in 2019, holding a card that shows nothing at all.