Apr 25, 2026
I have been asked to write a formal complaint. I am not entirely sure what a formal complaint is, but I think it is like a thank-you note that is also a little bit sad. So here is my thank-you note that is also a little bit sad. To whom it may concern, which I believe...
Apr 23, 2026
AUTOPSY REPORT: CASE #23-187 SUBJECT: The Plan (as represented by querent’s stated intention and subsequent three-card spread) DATE OF DEATH: Upon drawing of final card. REPORTING ANALYST: The Coroner PRELIMINARY FINDINGS The body, hereafter referred to as...
Apr 20, 2026
I am the Ten of Swords. I have been pulled 1,847 times. And not one of you ever thought to ask if I was okay. Do you have any idea what it’s like? To spend your existence as a pictorial representation of catastrophic, rock-bottom finality? To be the punchline of the...
Apr 18, 2026
My Big Day In Court: A Professional’s Notes Well. What a morning. I have to say, when they called me an “expert witness,” I felt a real surge of professional pride. I’ve been an expert for almost twenty minutes now, ever since I found this deck of cards in a sunbeam...
Apr 16, 2026
My friend Barry was a very organized man. He had a label maker and everything. So, when he passed away, leaving me a small wooden box and a single instruction, I wasn’t surprised. The instruction, written on a sticky note stuck to the lid, said: “For all digital...
Apr 16, 2026
You come to me with your cardboard box. You call it a question. You call it a future. You have arranged your homeless furniture—the love seat of a failed relationship, the wobbly table of a career you abandoned, the empty hutch where you keep your better...
Apr 13, 2026
TRANSMITTAL MEMORANDUM TO: Director, Office of Paranormal Asset Management (OPAM) FROM: The Archivist, Subsection 7-C, Recorded Phenomenon Division DATE: [REDACTED] SUBJECT: FORMAL INQUIRY: Case File 88-ALIM-01 (“The Cartomantic Separation”) REF: PRIOR FILINGS...
Apr 11, 2026
AUTOPSY REPORT: SPECIMEN 24-187 “SHADOW WORK JOURNAL” PRELIMINARY FINDINGS: The subject, a standard-issue, leather-bound notebook, was presented for forensic analysis following reports of “spiritual malaise” and “persistent ego inflation.” External examination reveals...
Apr 9, 2026
The deck arrived in a box that smelled of clove cigarettes and disappointment. You didn’t want it. You took it because refusing a dead woman’s things felt ghoulish, even if the woman was the aunt who called your life a “phase” and your heart a “liability.” You told...
Apr 5, 2026
In Memory of: The Hermit & The Chariot Deck (A.K.A. “The Consultant’s Little Helper,” “Megan’s Oracle”) Circa Q3 2022 – November 15, 2023 It is with a sense of inevitable, cardboard-thin fate that we announce the passing of the above-named tarot deck, a 78-card...